You know how they have those supposed "smart signs" every so often along major highways? You know how the important messages never seem to make it onto said signs, and you get stuck in traffic for hours without explanation? (Yes, I know there are traffic reports on the radio, but I haven't listened to the radio since July 2005.)

Well, we've all been there, done that. But what about when there are actual, useful messages on the signs, warning you dozens of miles in advance (but not soon enough that you can alter your route) that there's a major problem and multiple lanes are blocked just in time for your morning commute? Rare, right?

So, imagine my surprise when I was greeted with such a message this morning. I couldn't take the turnpike because the first sign of trouble (pun intended) was less than a mile before the on-ramp to the interstate -- several miles past the on-ramp to the turnpike. I resigned myself to sitting in traffic for 10 miles on the interstate, and my experience -- which took 30 minutes longer than usual -- did not disappoint.

But my question is: What happened to the major problem? You see, when I arrived at the spot where the sign said there would be two blocked lanes, all was clear. Sure, there were two road rangers and a busted-up car on a tow truck -- in the shoulder of the road. Why were people doing 10 mph? It wasn't even something that was exciting to see. No cops, no fire trucks, no severe incident response team. Frankly, I was a little let down.

But, most of all, I was ticked off at the smart sign system. As soon as the lanes were no longer blocked, the message should have changed to reflect that. It is my theory that if people are expecting to crawl up a highway, they will. And don't get me started on rubberneckers ....