I know that Ryan Seacrest's ultimate goal is to be host of every hostable program on television and radio, but when I heard he was going to be presiding over red carpet arrivals at the Super Bowl, I had to stop for a moment and process the information.

There were going to be red carpet arrivals at the Super Bowl?

I know that the Super Bowl is an event that mere mortals such as myself don't attend on an annual basis. Therefore, it goes without saying that celebrities and other financially well-off folk are more likely to attend the event -- even if it's in Phoenix, Arizona. So, I suppose they go through the special entrance to get to their luxury box or 50-yard-line seats (the better for the camera to find them during the game's downtime).

But does all of America really need to see that? We already get four hours of pre-game analysis. Besides, this is a sporting event; it's not an awards gala. Or, is the television industry so bummed out about the writers strike that they are willing to turn any event into must-see TV? (I know the Golden Globes press conference was awful, but this is not the way to make up for it, people.)

Which brings me back to Ryan Seacrest, who was introduced on a national level in the summer of 2002, during the first season of "American Idol." Five years later, he's everywhere: still hosting "Idol," hosting "Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve," hosting "American Top 40," hosting a morning radio show in Los Angeles, covering the red carpet for E! Entertainment Television and doing too much behind-the-scenes work to list here.

While it's not unusual for the network hosting the event to show off it's talent -- I recall Fox continuously panning to Calista Flockhart sitting in the front box at Yankee Stadium (in a Yankee cap, natch) during the World Series back when "Ally McBeal" was still on the air; they also plant network stars in the "Idol" audience -- did Fox learn nothing from the debacle that was the Ryan Seacrest-hosted Primetime Emmys last year? I believe it did not. (I also read that "American Idol" judges Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson will be a part of the festivities, but, again, there's not enough time in the world to talk about how wrong that is. And I loved Paula Abdul back in the day. I even have some records of hers. Yes, you read it right: I said records.)

Sure, I miss seeing the stars all glammed up, strutting their stuff for the cameras as they arrive at awards ceremonies. I hear they're going ahead with the 50th annual Grammy Awards next month, but I haven't watched that in years. (I'm getting old, I suppose. After all, I still have my records. Maybe they'll go retro in honor of the golden anniversary.) But, I'm still holding out hope that there will be an Academy Awards telecast this year, because that's the grand dame of all awards shows. (C'mon, guys. ABC is already advertising it. Jon Stewart is hosting. I love him! And, it's the 80th annual event, so it's a pretty major milestone. Please, won't you let me have just three hours? I won't even get mad if you run late.)

The bottom line is this: The Super Bowl is not a red carpet event. It's a football game. Or, for people like me: 90 minutes of a sport I don't care about, interspersed with some clever commercials, followed by half-time, which is followed by 90 more minutes of a sport I still don't care about, interspersed with some commercials that were clever the first time around, but sort of lose something after repeated viewings.

I know what you're thinking: She's got a lot to say about something she cares so little about. Yes, I do. But, you're in luck: I'm almost done. All that's left to say is: May the best team win.

And may Ryan Seacrest trip on the red carpet and spare us this kind of nonsense when the Daytona 500 is broadcast on Fox.