If I had to sum up the month of July as succintly as possible, I'd have to say it sucked.

On the first day of the month, I arrived home from a two-week vacation. Unfortunately, all of the fabulousness of the trip was wiped away during the stressful 24 hours it took to get home after our initial flight was canceled.

The Fourth of July was great, as usual, as we gathered to celebrate the 22nd birthday of my cousin and the 233rd birthday of our nation.

And then, July 6 came, and it rocked my world.

My dear bubbe, 87 years old, lost her 10-year battle with Alzheimer's disease.

At first, I felt relief that she was no longer suffering, trapped inside a body that looked like the woman who loved us, but with a brain that no longer knew that.

Three days later, we had her funeral, and that's when I completely lost it. My cousins, uncle and mother read eulogies, and it dawned on me that I never got to say goodbye to this wonderful woman. It had been more than five years since I last saw her. I guess part of me was afraid to visit her once I knew that she would no longer know who I was. But there's another part of me regrets that now.

People grieve in different ways, and I decided to deal with my bubbe's death by shopping the pain away. I did this to honor the memory of the countless shopping excursions she took me on, and I was determined to buy nice things.

Well, I did not fail her.

I did not fail her to the tune of $400 in designer handbags.

While this may sound like a lot, the actual retail value of the items I purchased was $1,172. So basically, I saved 66 percent.

Bubbe would have been so proud.

After a couple of weeks of reckless spending (and a vow that I would get my usual $20-on-clearance bags the next time I needed a fix) I cut myself off, satisfied that my retail therapy was complete.

And yet, I still grieve.

But, I'm moving on. Sure, I haven't gotten back to going through all the pictures from my trip, but that's a goal for this weekend. It's good to have goals. Especially those that don't cost anything.